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Mr. T vs. Coach
Mr. T vs. Coach '''is Season 2 Episode 13 of DraconianA's One Minute Melees. Description Seriously though, the choice to put these two up against each other has nothing to do with skin color. It does, however, have to do with how much ass these two kick! What would happen when Mr. T takes on Coach from Left 4 Dead 2? Intro One Minute Melee! Where all the fights are settled in 60 seconds! '''2 Fighters! No Research! 60 Seconds! MELEE!!! Go! (Cue Character Select Remix; 0:00-0:08) Player 1 and 2 both pick random select, getting Mr. T and Coach respectively. Ready? Yes. (Character Select Remix fades out.) Fight Who do you want to win? "You gotta lotta mouth! And I got a lotta fist for your mouth!" "'Wait for official instructions.' Heh, wait my ass!" “The coast is clear!” Coach, a high school coach (obviously), leads a group of survivors, composed of Nick, Rochelle, Ellis, and himself. Shotgun in hand, he creeps out of an alley. Suddenly, a charger zombie rushes down the nearby road, catching Coach by surprise. Nick whips out and unpins a grenade before tossing it in the path of the zombie, blowing it to bits. Nick smugly says, “The coast is clear? Yeah, yeah, tell yourself that. In fact, how about you clear your ass?” Coach retorts, “Better yet: how about YOU clear your MOTHER’s ass? How would you like that you-” “Excuse me,” states a grizzled voice coming from behind Coach. Coach looks behind him to see who he is being talked to by, seeing the legend that is Mr. T. Mr. T continues, “Don’t bring anybody’s mother into this. She’s not here! And if it wasn’t for your mother, you wouldn’t be here!” Coach, confused by where this man came from, holds his shotgun up, just in case. “Look man, I don’t care about that con man’s damn mom! Now, unless you are going to help us, get away!” Mr. T clenches a fist. “You know, you got a lot of mouth, and I got a lost of fist for your mouth! Just please put away the gun, or you won’t like what’s coming your way!” (Cue Theme of Frank West; 0:03-0:06) Coach, getting pissed, pulls the trigger of the gun, just to discover that it needs reloading. “Alright,” states Mr. T, “You asked for this!” Only one can stand! FIGHT!!! (Theme of Frank West; 0:06-0:59) 60 Mr. T slugs Coach right across the face, knocking him to his knees. He then punches Coach in the face rapidly before sending him flying into a window. 57 Coach abruptly comes back out with a bunch of firearms strapped to him and a crowbar in his hands. Coach takes a few swings as Mr. T backs up, dodging the attacks before grabbing the crowbar in mid swing and using it to pull Coach towards himself. Coach lets go of the crowbar in time to duck under Mr. T’s inevitable punch, following up with a quick blast from a magnum. 50 Mr. T steps back, the bullet actually bouncing off of the mass of gold jewelry. He grabs Coach by the neck and slams him into a wall on the other side of the street. The two scrape by the wall until it leads into a steel fence, which Mr. T tosses Coach over. 47 Coach whips out a new pump shotgun and fires through the fence. Mr. T runs to the side to avoid the blast, with Coach giving chase and continuing to fire. Coach dodges the blasts as they come until the two reach another building. Mr. T jumps over the fence, right in Coach’s way. Coach steps back and pulls the trigger… just to discover that he forgot to reload again. Mr. T shames his head side to side, arms crossed, before kicking Coach back. 40 Mr. T grabs the shotgun and snaps it apart. “Let's see you make that mistake a third time, fool!” Coach dodges an incoming punch. “Hey, at least I’ve dealt damage!” Mr. T takes the broken off barrel of the shotgun and whacks Coach across the face. “There’s your damage you were looking for!” 35 Coach takes out a cricket bat and swings it across Mr. T’s face, but the bat breaks upon impact. Mr. T slugs Coach with a left hook following a right hook. He then hammers Coach down into his knee. He then does it twice more before cracking his knuckles, winds a punch back up, and lets loose. 25 Coach stumbles backwards before regaining balance. He yells as he takes out a P220 and a Glock and dual wields them. He chases after Mr. T with the shots, even lodging a bullet into Mr. T’s thighs. Mr. T makes it into a building, crashing through the wall. He escapes into the darkness, just to return with a huge cabinet, with pieces of pottery falling out and shattering on the ground. He charges into Coach using it and rams him through the fence, eventually leading to Coach and the cabinet being smashed upon the wall of the store. 20 The dust settles, but not before Coach could grab Mr. T. He then blasts him with several bullets, point blank, before hitting him upside the head with a frying pan three times, firing an Ak-47 at him, and kicking him to the ground. Coach then kicks Mr. T in the chest, who grabs the leg, gets up, and swings Coach around before throwing him across the street. 15 Coach, upon landing on the corpse of a tank zombie, takes out a grenade launcher and charges forward. He bashes it into Mr. T before holding his P220 in one hand and firing. Mr. T stumbles back as the bullets enter his chest and as Coach walks backwards. Coach then fires the grenade launcher, catching Mr. T in a huge explosion… 8'' (Record Scratch cuts out Frank West’s Theme) But Mr. T is still there. ''7 (Cue The A-Team theme; 0:08-0:15) Mr. T walks forward as Coach reloads as fast as he could, running away. 4'' Coach fires another round, which Mr. T, in a logic defying move, catches. Coach runs as fast as he could, but Mr. T throws the round fast enough to hit him, blowing him up. '''K.O.!' (Silence) Nick, Rochelle, and Ellis stand in silence as they see the chunks of their former comrade scattered everywhere. Mr. T turns to the three. “That is why you must treat your momma right, fools! Now, are any of you ready to join my T-Force?!” In complete fear, the three nod their heads yes. Results (Cue The A-Team Theme) This melee's winner is... Mr. T!Category:'Video Game vs Real Life' themed One Minute Melees Category:Joke One Minute Melees Category:2018 Category:One Minute Melees with Music